Messed Mind

There's something on my mind,
I can't define
It's constant presence
Changing me,my ways
Thoughts forming a maze
That I'm trapped in
Another dead-end
Turn
Another bend
Longing,straining,fumbling..
For respite,some relief
What's left to believe?
Guilty as a thief
Lonely as an outcast
Not wanting company
Falling,falling,falling fast!
Into another dark abyss
What is it I miss?
My moods:like waves
A storm at sea!
Calm and solemn appearing to be
Turbulent currents below
Caught in the undertow..
Nowhere to go
Confront what?
I do not know
This is far from confusion
For I have no choices
I'm not insane
I hear no "voices"
Lost, so lost, in thought
But I'm not thinking
I'm not drowning
Im sinking!
Into myself.

After It All

You take a chance,
Put your neck on the line..
Hoping and praying
Things will turn out fine.
You get out there..
A step you think
Will take you everywhere.
Setting off to prove
Certain people wrong
But,you're left with nothing..
When it's all gone.
Life has its turns,
Twists you tight.
Defeat can be sweet
If you put up a fight.
Wishes and dreams,
Lay crushed and broken
From blissful sleep,awoken.
Bodily wounds heal in time,
Debt to society gets paid after crime
But,a dent in your spirit,
Leaves you torn...
And a part of your soul
Is lost forever...
Never to return,
Never!!!